Granny

After being born

I was little and frail

My parents did time for murder in jail

I was left in the custody of my Gran

I despised that decision

As she looked like a man

At the age of seven

Gran made me work hard

I cleaned and I cooked

Fed her baked lard

For an old goose

She was tough and strong

She could do chin ups for eight hours long

Some nights 

She made me wax her legs

For breakfast we ate fried ostrich eggs

Life was tough 

I couldn’t complain

Gran used a superior force

To control my brain

Gran made me do

The most revolting chores

I scrubbed her undies

Cleaned her toilet floors

And when I told her it was no fun

She’d beat me senseless for being a lazy bum

By the age of twenty

I found job

Gran took all my pay

And bought a fat hog

She never aged a bit

Although she was eighty

Those pills she took

Made her young and mighty

It happened one night

Before her medication

I swapped those pills with no hesitation

She gasped for air

Then choked like a toad

And within a second

I watched Gran explode.