Dreaming

[I wrote this sometime in September 1998, guess I was bored]

I had a dream

where I,

Invented a car which ran on strawberry ice-cream,

Climbed Mount Everest with just my cat to keep me company,

Sneezed every time and a gold coin fell out of the sky,

Could walk upside down,

Could talk to snails,

Was a paper towel in the kitchen,

Was dreaming and I never woke up only until I realised I was being held hostage by three little green men in my head,

Then I woke up.

About Sketches

Man, I love a good sketch. I always have.

They are very under appreciated because they are done so quickly. But I think a sketch implies a deeper understanding of the subject than a finished piece. The object of any drawing ought to be to communicate the subject to the viewer as simply and completely as possible. A sketch can do all that and at the same time it brings life to the drawing that is often missing from a finished piece. 

I am not an artist. I have however, doodled endlessly on several occasions that I considered pure boredom. Whilst piecing the puzzles of putting this book together, I realized this book needed more then just words. 

Pictures explain the writing.

The beauty is that it need not depict the exact words read, but helps to visualize the writing and capture the message or theme in the reader’s own thoughts.

The Clutter Bug

Clutter usually sneaks in slowly. Then you remember what is in the cupboards. You see piles of magazines everywhere. Bits and pieces of odds and ends, this and that. Old clothes you never wear. Glasses and plates that no one uses. Jam jars that will never be filled again. Well, you know how it is.

Have you heard of that saying - the stuff you own ends up owning you.

So true. If your house is too full of trinkets and things, you feel begin to uncomfortable there, you tend to feel a negative energy overcome you the minute you walk into that cluttered room. It becomes a challenge to stay in a positive attitude when you feel like you suffocate with all that stuff around.

The clutter bug - it’s all his damn fault. He makes you do it. He makes you collect and pile. He makes you hold on to all those old memories which become so extremely impossible throw away and let go. In the end, you compromise your liberated space and your unbounded sanity just because you look at an old boot and say, aw, I bought this at a garage sale when Mrs. Smith was moving. This bloody clutter bug!

I know. Horrendous it is to feel you can move in your own space. Then one day I simply decided to do something about it.

Still, organizing clutter felt too big a task when I looked around. But then, I remembered something. I remembered something I was told as a child. One step at a time and to list it down, tick it off as you go along.

Good idea. I took a notebook, and made a list. I gave title at the top of the page, calling it Throwing it Away on the first page. Then on the empty pages, on top of each page, I wrote the name of the room. And under that all the places in the room that needed cleaning.

Let´s take my bedroom doomed to clutter, for example. My list read.

- wardrobe: 1 shelf a day
- old makeup
- books
- book shelf
- clean all horizontal surfaces
- clean all vertical surfaces

What a doable process! You can only imagine the whole process was now in small, pieces and it doesn’t feel overwhelming anymore. I don’t feel overwhelmed. And as I completed my tasks, I ticked them off as I went along.

Try it yourself. If you don´t have time to go through the whole house, take one room. Make a list of all the places that need your attention in that room. And decide to do one thing a day from your list. And once you have cleaned a spot, stop piling things there anymore. Organizing clutter clears your mind too.

Empty Stomach

Thoughts in May 2007

End Note: The nameless dog has nothing to do with having an empty stomach. He enjoyed a a meat pie prior to the picture being taken

The emptiness in my stomach

Sings me an empty song

Empty words go flying by

My stomach for food it longs

The empty belly cries and cries

So empty so empty

I need chicken and fries

 Empty so empty

I need to be fed

My stomach is empty

Just like my head



Just 5 More Minutes

April 2010

I went to the park one day with my son. A woman sat beside me on the park bench near a playground.

“That's my son over there,” she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.

“He's a lovely boy,” I said. “And that's my son on the swing, in the white and yellow stripped tee-shirt.

I looked at my watch and called out to my son, “Hey, what do you say, are we ready to go now”.

My son scrunched up his little nose and pleaded, “Just five more minutes, mommy please, just five more minutes.”

I shrugged my shoulders and told my son it was ok and that he could swing to his heart's content.  It was a beautiful day, I thought to myself.

Five minutes passed and I called out again. “Time to go now”.

Again my son pleaded, “Another five more minutes, mommy. I promise, just five minutes.”

I smiled at him and nodded my head. Most of the kids began leaving the park with their mums and dads.

“My, you certainly are patient,” the woman next to me was observing my son’s response quite closely and she felt she had to comment.

I smiled at her and then said, “My older son was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with him and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with my younger son”.

The woman looked at me with deep sympathy and I continued to enjoy watching my son.

I sighed and thought to myself, “He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get five more minutes to watch him play".

Appreciating Our Past

Random Thoughts

March 2010

It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth.

Our past is a series of lessons that advances us to higher levels of living and loving. The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons.

Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want.

Our mistakes? Necessary?

Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too?

Each step of the way, (well that’s what I have learnt); I went through exactly the experience that I need to, to become who I am today.

Today I have been able to let go of negative thoughts I may be harbouring about my past circumstances or relationships.

I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.

I Remember Who You Are

I will remember

I remember, all the advice you gave me
I remember, all the times you were there for me
I remember, all the words that you said
I remember, all the times you held my hand
I remember, all the things you taught me

I remember how you taught me to be strong,

I remember how you told me to stand on my own two feet.
 
Even though you’re gone,

You will never really be gone.
For you live on and in me, in my memories.
So today I won't say good-bye to you.
For you will never really be gone.

I will always remember who you are.

Rubber Gloves

An excerpt from my book. (in progress)

April 1998

Rubber gloves are rubbery. You cover you hands with them. Your hand is at the end of you arm and wrist with the elbow in between, without the elbow, it would feel like a long lifeless object. Objects can be anything, from a box to a comb, from a twig to a bone. Bones are in the body. I think there are lot of bones in the body. Imagine, if you had no bones, you would be like jelly. Jelly comes in all sorts of colours, colours like the rainbow. A rainbow; I guess is a bow made out of rain. Well that’s what I was told. I was told a lot of things, things like not to speak with your mouth full, or to knock the teeth out of the kid next door. The kid next door is annoying he’s always bullying other kids at school. School is not my favourite place to be. The best, best thing, however about schools, are holidays. Holidays are great, especially during Christmas, when you get presents. Presents are the best, especially when they are wrapped in colourful shiny paper. Paper comes from trees. I used to climb trees when I was little and watch the neighbours cut their tress. Trees give wood. Wood is useful because you get all sorts of useful things from wood. Pinocchio was made out of wood. He lied a lot, you shouldn’t lie.  It’s an unhealthy acquired habit. Germs are unhealthy; they are small micro organisms that can make you very ill. Doctors can cure some illnesses, There are many kinds of doctors. They get a crack out of wearing surgical masks and rubber gloves. Rubber gloves are rubbery.